by Jose Maresma, Exercise Physiologist, Sports Scientist, and Wellness Consultant (and husband to our staff counselor Kimberlee Boreson Maresma)
“My father turned to me as if he’d been waiting all his life to hear my question.” –J.D. Salinger
With June comes the beginning of summer and of course Fathers Day. I’ve been pondering fatherhood and how to be the best father possible to my amazing daughter virtually every day since I found out my wife was pregnant. She’s now 6-years old and I have some practical experience, but it seems just when I think I’ve got this figured out, new joys and challenges arise almost weekly that have me observing and analyzing how I parent, and sometimes have me questioning if I even have a clue on how to be a father!
I’m very fortunate because I was raised a by an incredible father who to this day continues to model what a great father should be. He set a pretty high bar, but he also laid out a very clear path on how to get there.
A few years ago I read the quote at the top of this article by J.D Salinger and I remember getting goose bumps and having a flash of understanding on how my father has been such a powerful and positive force in my life… and in practical terms it’s pretty simple – He has “been in my life”. This quote speaks to being present and what a gift it is when someone gives you their full attention. Having the full attention of someone we love or is part of our lives seems to be an ever more rare experience these days. We live at a time where so many things are vying for our attention and the opportunity to be distracted is always at hand-literally with smart phones and other devices. So often I see people eyes down lost in what appears to be important, useful and valuable. Yet it feels like we are less connected.
I hope to offer a simple thought to hold close and use as a guiding light…being present for others and ourselves is fundamental for an exceptional life. It is amazing what happens when we are present for each other. To be an exceptional parent and for that matter a partner or friend, all we have to do is “Show Up” and be present. My father continues to “show-up”, he is always available to listen and hold me close. My parting thought is that to be a kick-ass father just show up, listen with your full attention offer yourself as fully as you can. Because the greatest gift you can give anyone is YOU. And in the end that is what our children want and need from us.
Come join us for the Mindful Partnering group where we work on developing the skills to be more present. Check the Dar A Luz calendar for dates. We gather in a group setting and help support each other.
Sex after Baby Saturday, June 29th from 1-3 p.m.
PARENTS and BIRTH WORKERS are INVITED! Sexual health is a vital part of the birth process and it is essential to learn how to honor and integrate it before, during, and especially after pregnancy. During the postpartum phase birthing people can easily become disconnected from their sexuality due to multiple societal influences on birth and parenthood. Simultaneously, they can be physically uncomfortable or in pain, in ways they weren’t expecting and don’t understand, due to birth injuries and the new daily movements of caring for an infant.
The postpartum time is a unique window where birthing people have the potential to come home to their sexual selves, their inner Eros in a whole new way. It can be a time of sexual drought and aggravation for new parents or it can be a time of sexual exploration and expansion for them. The time after birth is a very special territory that birthing people and their partners are not often prepared to navigate due to our societal structure around birth. This workshop will introduce you and your partner to a whole new approach to sex after birth!
Birth workers hold an invaluable position that can break the mold of the typical “get your body back” messaging aimed at birthing people. You can replace it with an empowering philosophy for every body. This workshop will help you to spark crucial conversations with postpartum people that are often glossed over by other providers, in this critical time of growth and transformation. Built on values of intersectionality and body positivity, this class aims to equip you with the knowledge you need as you inspire your clients to fully embody the next phase of their lives. Babies in lap or carrier welcome.
**This workshop is priced $25-$15 to make it accessible information for you and sustainable work for me. But if you or someone you know is truly interested and can’t pay within this range please join us. No one will be turned away for lack of funds. For more info visit our Facebook Page HEREor register HERE
For more info visit our Facebook Page HERE or call (505) 463-4787
To register for classes visit our website calendar page HERE
Learn what happens when birth doesn’t go as expected. Hear from midwives, doulas, counselors, and a past family who transferred. Free dinner! YOU MUST register for this class. Click HERE to register.
Wednesday, June 26 5:15 to 8:00 p.m.
Doula Teas with the New Life Doula Collective Come & join us for some tea, and meet our doulas. We’ll help you learn more about doula care, so you can explore your options. RSVP for tea HERE to let us know you’re coming (drop-ins OK too) or to learn more about doulas visit Doula page on our website HERE PLEASE NOTE UPDATED SUMMER SCHEDULE:
Monday, June 24 5:30 p.m.
Monday, July 22 5:30 p.m.
Saturday, August 10 noon
Breastfeeding and New Moms
Facilitated by our Lactation Consultant Robin Hayter with support from the nurses and midwives.
Wednesday mornings, 10:00 to noon
Mindful Partnering, Mindful Parenting Feeling overwhelmed? You are not alone. Please come explore and experience gentle guided meditation and mindfulness practices that will leave you feeling calm, witnessed and supported.
Thursday, July 11 6:00 to 8:00 p.m.
Postpartum Mom Group Our staff counselor Kimberlee Maresma, LPCC will hold a therapeutic group that supports the new mother for the first year. Email Kimberlee HERE with any questions.
…and counting! That’s over 2850 gallons! Go, Mamas, Go!
Bonus classes Disclaimer: Most of the special events below are set up and led by community members — not Dar a Luz staff members — and as such, they don’t necessarily reflect our beliefs as an organization. Dar a Luz is not responsible for their content, and does not necessarily endorse every aspect presented. _______________________________ Postpartum Partner Workshop
Thursday, June 27th at 6 p.m. Please join Jose Maresma for an evening of an emotionally safe exploration of the differences our partners face after the birth of a new baby. This Workshop is FOR PARTNERS ONLY. Suggested donation: $10-20 _____________________________ Infant, Child, and Adult CPR
Monday, July 1st at 6 p.m. Firefighter Kris Romero leads this certification course in infants, child and adult CPR. Learn the basics for life-saving measures, what to do in an emergency, and feel more prepared for a sudden, unexpected event. Cost: $40 per person- PRE-PAY 100% NON-REFUNDABLE at the time you sign up. Space is VERY limited so register today. Register HERE _____________________________
One of our philosophies at Dar a Luz is to strive to be an environmentally conscientious organization, minimizing our environmental impact and encouraging others to do the same. You support this mission by completing online intake forms, bringing a refillable water bottle with you to your visits, and utilizing our recycling bin. We have a recycling bin in our kitchen space. Please take a moment to familiarize yourself with what is recyclable. Thank you for helping support our efforts! _____________________________
The Big Latch on 2019 Saturday, August 3rd
Name: Jael Birthdate: 8-18-18 Fun Fact: Jael is a palindrome birthday baby! You can have your baby featured by emailing usHERE a picture of your cutie and we’ll put them in a newsletter! Please include permission to use the image, your little one’s first name, date of birth, and a fun fact.